The most powerful attracting force on Earth is Love

The energy vibration of love is supremely powerful it can heal the deepest pain, yes Love is truly expansive and a gift from The Universe, The All, God!

Love is so powerful it can also kill…..because it’s nemesis is hate. This is the negative side, the universal principle of Polarity of Positive and Negative. The struggle for good over evil has been the source of countless books, songs and movies, it is an almost preoccupation for the human race since the dawn of our history.

The search for finding love

Many people in the world are obsessed with the search for love because at the end of the day we all want to love and be loved. Frank A Clark said “A baby is born with a need to be loved and never outgrows it” so does this mean love is not something we learn but something that is encoded into our soul?

Another quote from a person unknown says “everything that someone does is either love or a call for love”

The feeling of love, whether to give or to get is almost addictive, nay let’s be honest here and say it really is addictive. Yet…Some people confuse love with lust.

But did you know that to search for love is not really necessary?

It’s true….Many people chase love in order to heal their pain, maybe from loneliness or heartache. And it is true that love will heal these pains. Some crave the closeness and connection that sharing love with another person can bring but to go in search of love is really futile and this is why.

Because the key to finding love is to understand that love is already within you.

The key to finding love is to first find love within yourself. This might sound slightly religious but it is not meant to be preachy but a truth that can be trusted.

When you meet someone they do not put love into you like a piece of software. It is the love within yourself that is ignited and encouraged to come forward when you meet someone you feel that connection with.

When you find the love within yourself then love will find you outside yourself in the form of another person who will respond to your love. It will be a force of nature…a force of attraction. This doesn’t mean all you need to do is sit in a room and wait for love to be attracted to you…no of course not. You do need to take some action on it.

If you are living life with love within yourself it will find you because it will be drawn to you, attracted to you.

You should try to find the love within yourself even if you have been hurt before, even if you feel pain in your heart you must try to Love like no one ever hurt you. When you can do this you will find that love will ease your pain and it will bring more love to you.

This is how we “Dean and Angella” found each other across many lands and oceans. Even though we had both been hurt before and had a lot of pain we accepted it and found love within ourselves. This was one of the attracting forces that brought us together. Somehow we could feel that in each other and the force was very strong.

This is why once we had made connection with each other it wouldn’t let go of us even when we tried to ignore it consciously, it was still there. Even though circumstances seemed against us meeting each other it found a way. Love found a way.

You can read our story of how love brought us together here: Romance in Cyberspace

So on this Valentines day whether you are alone and longing to be with someone or together with someone we hope you will find the love within yourself and share it.

Wishing You lot’s 0f Love and inspiration.

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An Internet romance is like having a crush on somebody from a distance

We both know that there is something very seductive about an internet romance.  It’s a little like when you have a crush on somebody from a distance and you always dream about what it will be like to be with that person. To kiss them, to hold them, smell them and know them. The imagination goes into overdrive and it can be very consuming and addictive.

Internet romance can be a little like that because even though you can talk to that person and even tell them how you feel about them there is always that missing element of physicality. You are always wondering what it will actually be like to be with that person in reality.

This is an important point because as humans we have spent thousands of years forming our intimate relationships based on levels of physical contact. Even online when you see that person on video after seeing just photos it reveals more about the person than you knew before. Their body language subconsciously tells you so much more. It is a scientific fact that the majority of our communication with each other is non verbal and based very much on body language and very subtle cues and signals.

Physical Chemistry is very important in relationships

So too when we meet someone for the first time there is a massive amount of information that is revealed on a subconscious level. Physical chemistry is a real phenomena and it is indeed the thing that is missing online and why so many people wonder if it can be “real love”.

It is for this reason we suggest to people who are involved in an internet romance that they meet in person as soon as possible to confirm that there is real chemistry there and not just an imagined and hoped for attraction and connection. Because the imagination will create all sorts of stories in your mind about that person before you meet them many of which may not actually be true at all. This can lead to disapointment  which can be disastrous if firm commitments have been made just on the basis of online communication.

We all want to love and be loved and for so many people the hope of finding real love can become obsessive.

The need for love can feel very real and it can lead people into desperate thinking and sometimes even delusional thinking. This is why there are so many people caught by romance scams online. Because their desperation to find “The one”, ‘true love” can blind them to the reality.

Of course we are living proof that an internet romance can be real love and become a reality and in fact this is just the first stage of really making it a permanent reality. However it is the first step you must take if you are going to firstly avoid making a mistake and secondly even begin to tackle the challenges of making your internet romance real.

Meeting someone online can be very romantic

With all that said there can be something beautiful and wonderfully romantic about the first stages of meeting someone online and the growing feelings of falling in love. When it is genuine and both people are willing and able to take action on the dream it can be the most amazing journey and experience. Something we have been fortunate enough to experience ourselves.

To all of you out there who are involved or even hope to be involved in an internet romance and hope to find real love that way we sincerely wish you success. We hope that you will be careful though and take inspiration from our story and our success.

Internet romance can be real love…it can become reality so don’t give up!

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If you are in an Intercultural relationship you have a wonderful opportunity to learn about your own culture.

It’s an interesting thing when it comes to learning about different cultures. You never really think about it too much when you live purely in or with your own culture. You recognize and appreciate there are other cultures in the world different from your own and you may even learn a little about them from watching TV and reading books and even on the internet.

What we have found fascinating is the type of learning you do when you live the experience of being in an intercultural relationship because what we have found is that not only do you learn about the other person’s culture but you actually learn more about your own culture too.

This has been one of the big surprises in our Intercultural relationship, how our cultural differences serve as a mirror to our own

What we mean by this is that it isn’t until you live with another culture that you actually have a real comparison with your own and this makes you see your own culture with a lot more clarity and perspective which can actually be quite enlightening.

For example, some of the ways we raise our children in the West compared to South East Asia are quite different. The attitudes that we instill in them as children in preparation for adulthood are not exactly the same. In the West we place great importance on freedom. Western history is full of the struggle for freedom in many forms. So when our children are at schooling age we tend to allow them a lot of freedom to express their own thoughts and ideas and in fact we actively encourage it. Many of us will recognize this can have both positive and negative effects, which we won’t go into here.

It is not quite the same in the East. They don’t have quite the same attitude towards freedom as we do. It’s not because they are not or don’t want to be free but their history concerning freedom is different. Hence the attitudes that their children and teenagers have are slightly different in this respect.

The key with any intercultural relationship 

Now we don’t advocate that either is necessarily right or wrong. It is all relative and subjective as well. As we said, we grow up in our own cultures and so we don’t know much difference really. In the West of course we will believe our way is right but in the East they will also have the same belief. The key we have found is in understanding, acceptance and appreciation for these differences and learning to find ways of compromising and working together.

In our own experience, which by the way is an ongoing one we find some interesting situations as we both have teenage children who are living in the West. What we have learned is there is good and bad on both sides and if we are open enough we can learn from both sides. There have been many times when we stop to think about an issue and rather than just go headlong into something with the reason that this how we do it here we stop and consider if there is a better way. Having the benefit of comparing and learning from another culture actually becomes very expansive.

Don’t just blindly accept and believe that our way is the right way or the only way

We do feel it is important to be open to learn from each other’s cultures. It is not always easy because we are all conditioned to believe our culture is the right way and it takes some effort and self mastery to not automatically believe and insist that yours is the only or right way. As our global community becomes closer at an ever increasing rate and the doors between East and West more open we believe it is very important that we have a more open attitude here and not just blindly accept and believe that our way is the right way or the only way.

This opportunity to learn from each other is also one of the wonderful things about intercultural relationships and something we hope the whole world can learn from to live in more peace and harmony now and for future generations to come.

Read more of our posts about Intercultural and mixed Relationships

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Food, like music is a great way to bring families of Intercultural marriages together

The subject of intercultural marriages and bringing families together is something we have not really discussed here because until this year we ourselves had not got married and had not yet been able to bring our families together.

We thought we would simply share our experience so far:

In July Angella came to Australia permanently and although our goal is not to remain solely in Australia but to travel not just between Australia and Thailand but other countries as well we have made the decision to stay put here for a while as we settle our family and also our business projects.

Angella brought with her her youngest son from Thailand who is 16 and together with Dean’s two sons of 15 and 17 who stay every other week and also is parent’s who also live locally it now forms the family structure we will have for around a year or so. So this has presented certain issues that we have had to be prepared for and monitor as well as a wonderful opportunity to share and mix our cultures.

We have been extremely lucky that none of our boy’s have resisted our relationship showing more passive support than anything. Even before this point it has been a sensitive process to establish relationships with each other’s children. We can see this is a sensitive area but in Intercultural marriages where you come from different cultures and have some language issues to face it can be made all the more challenging.

How food has become a major focal point in this Intercultural marriage

This may seem funny and we are not sure how other intercultural marriages deal with this but one of the main issues we have found in bringing our families together is food. Often we will have 3 teenage boys living with us and making sure everyone is happy at meal time can be quite interesting as we have a mix of Western and Thai/Chinese cuisine.

Fortunately Dean has a real palette for Thai cuisine and having spent many months living in Thailand can eat a wide variety of Asian foods. Interestingly his youngest son also seems to have a natural liking for Asian food and is also quit willing to try things. Angella’s son obviously has little experience of Western food but is willing to try and Dean’s oldest boy is not that into Asian food but often cooks for himself anyway as he is in to weight training.

So what has begun to transpire is a real fusion style of cuisine with a mixture of Thai, Chinese and Western styles and now with some Indian cuisine in to the mix because of course Dean is from England where Indian food is very very popular.

What has been noticeable and also very positive is that food has been an area that brings us all together and we can say that this could be a very positive idea for many intercultural marriages that need to mix families together. We often all sit together at the table to eat and the mixture of foods can be a interesting topic of conversation as everyone discusses what they like, what they don’t and try different things. We often talk about the culture and history of various foods and this has been a great way of getting everyone involved in discussion.

Of course bigger family get together’s with Dean’s parents become even more interesting as we will often share the cooking and add even more variety into the mix. In fact it is quite surprising when you really look at it because Dean’s Western cuisine is really made up of many cultures such as English, French and Italian with some Greek and Portuguese and of course Australian thrown into the mix and not forgetting the all important Indian!!!

Angella’s cultural cuisine is made up of predominantly Chinese and Thai but with some Japanese and Vietnamese. You can probably begin to imagine the possibilities of cooking now and how this whole mix of cultures and tastes can inspire great cuisine as well as interesting conversation and some funny moments too.

What we have found to our delight and can recommend to other people either in or entering into Intercultural marriages and who need to integrate family members is that food is a really great way to do it.

It also tastes pretty good as well..!

So cheers and here’s to Intercultural marriages and bringing families and culture together through food.

Read our post about Intercultural remarriage after divorce

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Are love soulmates real or just similar personalities?

We have always found the idea of soulmates an interesting one and yes, despite such a diverse background from East and West we certainly do feel as if we are soulmates in many ways.

But there can often be some misconception about the whole idea of being soulmates. Very often people can feel a strong connection with someone and mistake this as being soulmates when in fact they are just of the same psychological personality profile. It is easy to get confused between the two and only a good working knowledge of personality profiling systems such as the Enneagram or Myers Briggs systems can help discern the difference.

So what is the difference between soulmates and personality similarities?

Well to make a long story short having the same personality profile means you can relate to many things in the same way. It is more to do with your conditioned psychology than a deep spiritual connection. With psychology type profiling we are more concerned with the mind and our automatic behavorial patterns to external stimuli or in other words the physical world. For example two people might have similar thought processing modalities such as being more visual thinkers or more kinesthetic thinkers. This alone can create striking similarities between people which can be very stimulating and rewarding when conversing with someone with the same primary modality as you feel as if you both know what the other is thinking…which in some ways you do.

…..But is this a real basis for being soulmates ?…not really.

Some people might think being soulmates is because they get on well and don’t argue but once again this really is not so and is most likely down to psychological factors and social conditioning more than the more spiritual concept of soulmates.

So what is a soulmate?

The idea of Soulmates has been around for a long time in some form or another and there are a number of Spiritual and religious perspectives. The Hindu type religions well known for the directly related concept of Karma have prominently been credited with the creation of the concept of Soulmates which in turn found it’s way albeit slightly modified into Buddhism. Another popular notion of Soulmates is of one soul that is split in two that subsequently yearns to find it’s other half in life. This notion also features loosely in the works of Plato and also Theosophy as well as the more recent Edgar Cayce.

Some of the most recently documented concept of soulmates which have now found their way into Western culture refer to energies that are part of a soul group while discarnate and incarnate to the earthly plane to learn and advance their soul on a karmic level.

This concept has been well documented and written about by some quite eminent and well respected people such as Michael Newton and Dr Brian Weiss a well known  American hypnotherapist who became interested in past life regression which involved taking people into hypnosis to recall information from past lives to resolve issues in this life. Through this work he discovered some quite amazing and seemingly genuine results and information about life after death and soul groups and also life between lives and the reasons why we reincarnate to this life to resolve various issues.

We are here to meet certain people in our lives in order to advance our soul and balance certain karmic lessons

This information not only adds some validity but puts the whole idea of soulmates into a perspective in as much as that we are actually here to meet certain people in our lives in order to advance our soul and balance certain karmic lessons. This is a view that we particularly resonate with because it comes with a blend of realism in as much as it does not necessarily mean a soulmate will always be perfect. Sometimes the reason we meet each other in this life may be to teach valuable life lessons that our soul wishes to learn some of which may in fact be uncomfortable, what’s more is that soulmates do not necessarily have to be lovers and can be friends, family or even just acquaintances.

Soulmates in love and romance

ok so after some background and perspective on soulmates lets talk about some more romantic notions once again. We mention Dr Brian Weiss earlier and he also tells a true story of soulmates in love in his account of two people Elizabeth and Pedro who were lovers in many lives but didn’t realize it until both had receive past-life regression hypnotherapy and grief counselling by Dr Weiss in their current life. Although this is a very romantic notion and would seem slightly fantastical the story and accounts recorded by Dr Weiss are very compelling and believable as is much of his work, which leads us to conclude there must be something in the whole idea of soulmates both romantic and not.

Our own story

For us we do feel we must have made some agreement to meet each other in this life from a soul level and feel perhaps we were part of the same soul group. Yes of course we feel a deep and profound love for one another and it is a love that has been tested on many occasions now since we met because it is a love that has been strong and deep enough to withstand the challenges of long distance separation, family difficulties, financial turbulance and even threats from other love interests….but we have always held firm the belief that love will overcome all challenges and so far it has done.

We also feel we have valuable life lessons to impart to each other and help each other, some of  which are quite testing, but we realize that those lessons have been a source of positive development for us both as humans and also on a deeper soul level and we do feel and believe karma has been strong at work in our relationship.

But whether you really believe we are soulmates or not at the very least we hope we can bring value to your life and the lives of others by sharing the experiences of our relationship as a model and symbol of harmony between East and West and male and female in these changing times.

Read about The Law of Attraction and relationshipss

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